October 2012
2 posts
March 2012
1 post
Baffled
I honestly don’t understand how such a large proportion of people I know graduated high school. Learn the difference between your, you’re, there, their, and they’re. Seriously, it’s not hard. If it is, take solace in the fact that you’re probably on a computer or hand-held device that more than likely has access to the world wide web. One can look things up before one...
February 2012
4 posts
Kevin Bacon... Lots of Bacon.
I just ate the “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” sandwich from Melt. Health-wise, it is probably the worst thing I’ve ever eaten. Taste-wise, it’s completely worth the heart attack I’m about to have. So, aside from the 45 minute wait every single day, Melt and I are on good terms right now. Oh, and as a side note, if you put Sriracha on a rock, I would have to contemplate...
BP
I was just in the most disgusting BP I’ve ever been to in my life. First, there was this super hick couple freaking out about how gay people are going to be allowed to get married in Florida, and how they think that Tim Tebow is in the NBA. Secondly, I watched the cashier stick her fingers in her mouth then proceeded to ring out customers. Needless to say, I bought nothing. Fuck the BP on...
January 2012
1 post
This is a song about an organ that pumps blood...
December 2011
2 posts
Salvation Army
So Ky and I just got off the highway. Next to the road there was a homeless gentleman standing with a sign that read, “PLEASE HELP. GOD BLESS!”. In front of us next to the man was a van for the Salvation Army and on the back in large white, bold letters it said, “Heart to God, Hand to Man”. The van drove away as soon as the light turned green, 30 seconds later. Uhh, LOL.
Martial Arts
So I was discussing this with somebody the other day. When people make fun of Asians, they make funny motions as if we know karate or something. First off, how is this a negative? Secondly, what happens if you fuck with some Asian who DOES know martial arts?
November 2011
2 posts
“What I need is a strong drink and a peer group.”
– Ford Prefect
The Results of My Car Cleaning Expedition
Three Pokémon game cartridges, two guitar capos, 15+ guitar picks, three pairs of shoes, three sweaters, two pairs of socks, jumper cables, FeBreeze air freshener, two pairs of shoe soles, several cigarettes, several Marc’s name badges, 10+ paychecks, four lighters, and Joel Fuelling’s car keys. Epic win.
October 2011
1 post
Random thought.
So I think it would be funny when a dog is growing and slowly becomes aware of its size that as it furthers itself away from the ground it thinks it’s flying or something and thus walks carefully.
August 2011
4 posts
Parma
“PARMA. Today, a fat drunk guy was hanging out at a green light so I honked at him. Well my car beeps. Either way, it sent him speeding down pearl at a neck breaking 25 mph. He weaved into the truck in front of us, got back over, weaved into the car in front of the truck, and got back over. Up ahead there were cars waiting at a red light. He took the road less traveled, namely the sidewalk,...
Antillia - EP
Dear interwebs, Antillia’s (http://www.facebook.com/Antillia) EP is (FINALLY) finished and available for free download. You can also purchase it if you so choose. There are 7 songs plus some bonus material that will be available if you download the whole album.
http://antillia.bandcamp.com
Tex Winter
Tex Winter was inducted into the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame this year. He invented the triangle offense, a system which sounds simple but can be fully grasped and understood by only one other human, Phil Jackson.
-From The Optimist, cavs.com
Rockport Nursing Home
I just saw a sign for this place and underneath it read, “Respecting seniors since 1995.” Does that mean that before ‘95 they just beat them and made fun of them for being old?
July 2011
1 post
Dear Cat,
We’re not in high school. There is no popularity contest. You don’t need to be constantly grooming yourself and trying to look good for everybody else. You’re making me look bad. Stop it. We’re the only ones here. Asshole.
June 2011
3 posts
3 tags
I’m never going to hear the end of this, but...
Seattle
As most people I’m acquainted with know, my life and I aren’t really on good terms and we kind of loathe each other. Over the past few months though, I’ve been stressed out more than usual about essentially everything. Honestly, it’s kind of stupid though because the rational side of me and myself agree that I don’t really have anything to truly be panicking about....
May 2011
2 posts
3 tags
Antillia
Dear Tumblians, Facebookians, and possibly Twittians, today was a good day. Today, we finally finished tracking all of the songs for my EP that I’ve been working on for the past few months and the Cavs got the number 1 and 4 picks in the Draft Lottery! Anyhoo, the EP is all coming together very nicely, and even has some twists that one wouldn’t expect. I’m really excited about...
This is a song by the Old 97’s called...
April 2011
6 posts
“As a recently incarcerated doctor once said, ‘Nothing worth having comes...”
http://www.g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/711935/pokemo... →
I’m going to find this woman, and marry her. I seem to be saying that a lot, lately.
This song is called, “Jamie All Over”....
"Clean" Albums
Anybody else find it odd how a record is considered, “clean”, yet the subject of the songs are still generally gang-banging, gettin’ ho’s, getting money, and riding on 375 inch rims? Yes, I realize I’m generalizing the crap that most people define as, “hip-hop” now-a-days.
March 2011
12 posts
Firstly, I’m sorry. Secondly, I’m a...
Snow
Matt Kaiser brought up a good point to me the other day. As children we see snow and think, “Yes!”, but as adults we see it and think, “…….Shit.”. That is all.
April
April needs to arrive quicker so I can start ruining my life.
I can’t think anymore. I always have a constant headache. I don’t really want to do this anymore. I really need a life changing experience. Fuck.
Hawaiians do not blog: "If you don't believe in... →
iloveyoulessthanpunk:
I’ve been asked this more times than I really need to have been. So here is my definitive answer.
I live for the feeling of my skin against another person’s; for nights spent out until three in the morning laughing my head off at nothing at all; the feeling of…
jeffsandwhich:
Man. I could really go for some sex right now.
February 2011
12 posts
barrysunshine asked: did you go to berea?
jeffsandwhich:
new jam im working on called time...
Ink Splotches
The following conversation is derived from an ink splotch.
Me: A lot of things flooded my mind when I saw that.
Nick: Uh oh, that's frightening.
Me: How come?
Nick: I dunno, I just thought that would be the worst response that a psychiatrist would give you.
Me: LOL.
Fin.
WatchBathroom Cover Sesh 1.
Bright Eyes - First Day of My Life
Yarly.
I wrote this the other day. I recorded it tonight....
dearchristieband asked: Hey we're a pop/punk band from Ohio. If you would check us out, tell us what you think and like our facebook page you would be amazing!! :D
http://www.facebook.com/DearChristie
http://www.facebook.com/DearChristie
Tofu
He knew from the start: he could do it all.
For five years, he stayed with the fishermen, learning their craft. His muscles grew strong, he could tell the net from the hook. Then he vanished one night, not even saying goodbye.
He was seen next making sausage, mastering the proper spices. By the time they figured out it was him, he had gone again, perhaps to Texas, or maybe the Chesapeake Bay.
...
Ke$ha
I’ve been listening and watching some of her stuff lately, and I am honestly baffled as to how she became famous, more less a “musician”. Her beats are catchy, I’ll give her that. Lyrically though, I can’t think of a word that’s offensive enough to describe them without feeling as if I’m complimenting them. All of her live stuff just seems like it’s...
Mr. Cheeky
Starting the timer now! We are officially off the grid. I have developed the first completely self-sustaining computer rig! The environment will never be harmed by me again! I simply buy my hamster feed in biodegradable bags, feed it to Mr. Cheeky to keep him healthy and nourished so he can keep running, he spins the wheel which powers my little generator and voila! Not a single fossil fuel...
